Unpreparedness makes the right thing wrong. When you’re not yet married, you have no claim over the other person. Don’t expect that he/she will reciprocate your feelings – that is selfish. Asking the other person what he/she feels about you, knowing that you won’t marry or don’t have plans to marry that person any time soon, is just plain unnecessary. In fact, it’s a selfish act – it’s to soothe your itching curiosity on how that other person would respond to your emotions. It’s just to satisfy your “feelings”.
Ever had a gimmick or an outing and you left something very important because you didn’t prepare well beforehand? It ruins the whole trip doesn’t it?
Don’t desire a relationship when you know you can’t go all the way. It is selfish and unwise and it will end up hurting you both. Marriage demands far more than you can possibly know or imagine and the world today pushes us to unpreparedness. That is why relationships come crashing down, why hearts are broken, why discouragement is rampant, why families get shattered. Such a subtle thing right? Unpreparedness?
Men, don’t ask for a woman’s heart when you know you cannot yet fully meet her needs in all aspects. What does she need?
She needs someone who is financially capable of supporting her in all her needs
She needs someone who is emotionally stable when push comes to shove and life shakes you
She needs someone who is wise, capable of making the crucial decisions at crunch time
She needs someone who is physically fit so that he can work well and hard for the best possible future while not sacrificing time for the family
She needs someone who is so disciplined with his time that he can give his family quality time while being the best he can be at his work
She needs someone… And the list goes on…
Do you meet the needs? No? Then my advice is for you to keep developing yourself. God will give the go signal and I’m sure you’ll know it when it’s time. As Joshua Harris said in his book “I kissed dating goodbye”, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.”
For women, think about it. Don’t give your heart away to someone who’s unprepared – that’s being unprepared too! Pray hard, prepare yourself as well. So that when the right one comes, and he’s all prepared for a relationship, you know you’re all set up for it too!
Make sure that you become the best you can be – not for your future spouse, but for God. Because He will be the one to decide when you’re ready.