Sex life: The question is, are you doing it right? But let me elaborate that question further.
“For many people, certainly, sex is the most powerful and moving experience that life has to offer, and more overwhelmingly holy than anything that happens in church. For great masses of people, sex is the one force which can actually tip men and women completely off their accustomed centers of gravity and lift them, however briefly, right out of themselves.” – Mike Mason in ‘The Mystery of Marriage’
Sex is something that people describe as ‘amazing’, ‘wonderful’, ‘out of this world’, and the list goes on. Why then, is that so many people, after having that ‘out of this world’ experience, find themselves empty, wanting and perhaps aching as a void subtly nudges somewhere in their soul?
Am I doing it wrong?
This is the question that so often pops into mind after that aching, empty feeling. Perhaps you’ve had sex. Perhaps you’ve had one of the best ones in your life thus far. But somehow, someway, you feel that something in you is not right.
Let me tell you what you’re doing wrong.
You meet someone. You fall in love. The passion and fire burns between your romance, and then, by some compelling, fleshly urge, you have sex.
This is wrong.
So let me tell you how to do it right.
Sex is designed.
It is not just some primitive instinct that all animals, insects and humans accumulate in themselves. It is something that is intricately designed – especially for us human beings – in order to arouse something unexplainable in us. It’s more than feelings (emotion), it’s more than physical consummation, it’s more than intellectual will and experience. It is a sort of spiritual oneness.
And only through that Spiritual oneness will you be able to do it right. That spiritual oneness can only be complete inside the bonds of marriage.
This is what we have lost.
“Don’t let your disappointing experiences cloud your understanding of this. We have grown cynical, as a society, about whether intimacy is really possible. To the degree that we have abandoned soul-oneness, we have sought out merely sex, physical sex, to ease the pain. But the full union is no longer there; the orgasm comes incomplete; its heart has been taken away. Many have been deeply hurt. Sometimes, we must learn from what we have not known, let it teach us what ought to be.” – John Eldredge in ‘The Journey of Desire’
This is why we are not doing it right.
Unless we do things right with our sex life, we will never be satisfied. We will never be fulfilled. We will ache with a real ache – something unexplainable within our soul.
Only God can fill that void – and He says it should be done inside the bounds of marriage. That is the only way to have a sex life that will not disappoint.