We live in this world where lots of good things exist. We’re blessed with a family, a house, a car perhaps, and then some time in our lives, we’re blessed with a relationship. How do you react when that someone you hold so dear to, suddenly needs to leave? For whatever reason, your relationship has to stop. What do you do then?
Someone once told me, ‘do not hold on to a blessing too tightly that you aren’t willing to let go anymore’. I think there is wisdom with what she said. And don’t we all struggle with that? Especially when we’re blessed with a relationship?
This entry has been inspired by my relationship with a good friend of mine who ignited this wisdom and experience in me. To you, I give my thanks.
I’ve been blessed with so many friends. And we as human beings experience relationships here and there. It is part of us. We need relationships – it is our design to desire such. And for some part of my life, I’ve been blessed with a special relationship that I was holding on so tightly to.
When a blessing makes you bleed
This relationship was a big blessing in my life. And in fact, it still is. But during the time, I was so stubborn and held on to my relationship with this person too tightly, I didn’t feel my hand was already bleeding and I was suffocating the blessing.
Holding on to a blessing too tightly will dethrone God in your life. Especially if that blessing is a relationship. The one thing that will ever play tug-o-war with God for the throne in your heart is a relationship – whether it be a relationship with a person (which is a two-way relationship), with your tv, computer, books, etc… (the latter ones are one-way relationships) Because what you have with God is a relationship too.
Feeling the loss
And so at some point in time when God sees that you cannot handle the blessing He has given you, He has to take it away. And yes you will excruciatingly feel the pain as God pries your fingers open. You will feel the cuts in your hand begin to bleed. And you will feel the loss – a void in your palm and a void in your heart for you have placed that blessing in the throne of God, committing idolatry.
It is such an irony that when you are willing to let go, God will let the blessing stay for He knows that He still holds Lordship over your life. But when the time comes that you’re holding on a wee bit tighter to that blessing, He’s gonna start telling you “Hey buddy, you better lossen up that grip.”
When the time comes that God needs to pry the blessing away from you, then you know that you have made yourself a captive of that blessing. And instead of a blessing it has become an idol for you. All the idols we make in our lives come from blessings – blessings that has taken the place of God in our hearts. So how do we avoid this? How can we let go?
Set your eyes on the Giver
How do we avoid idolatry? Check your heart. Is God still the only thing you cannot let go of? Are all other things worthless in light of Him? Is He still your focus? When the answer is no then that’s the time when you have to question the things in which you are fearful to let go of – because it has already taken root in the throne room of God in your life.
How can we let go of a relationship that we have been blessed with? Renew your mind. Always remember that God gives us blessings for a purpose – to bless others with it. If the relationship is not pleasing to God anymore, and if you yourself is not blessed with what is happening, then it’s time to search your heart with where you stand in the relationship. Check your grip. Are you holding on too tightly?
It is not easy to know these things. You need the discernment and wisdom of God. You need to give Him time to tell you this. Often, we are blinded with emotions in this aspect and we need the help of other people whom we can trust and to who we can be accountable with. Ask them for advice. Humble yourself and know that you need it.
And when you know and realize that you are holding on too tight, then you know that you have to let go. Loosen your grip by loosening the relationship with that person in your heart. Meaning, slow down or cut short the communication between the both of you. Relationships grow through communication, so in order to loosen it up, loosen up the communication.
Back off and try to see the relationship in a bigger light. Is it still pleasing to God? Are other people going to be blessed with your relationship with that other person? Maybe it’s time to give the blessing back to God and develop yourself more in order for you to handle it better the next time around.
Check your grip.
Let go. Develop yourself. Wait on God.