Filipino Motivational & Leadership Speaker - Sean Si

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The Secret to Loving the Opposite Sex

6 MIN READ

June 26, 2013 By Sean 9 Comments

so sweetBeing in a relationship is fun. It has been for me and Sean for going 3 years now. It has been for many of my friends who say they are still in love with their partners and had been together for more than 5 years. Having a so-called partner, for me pushes me to grow faster (mentally, spiritually and emotionally speaking). It urges me to serve, to be more patient, forgiving and to be kind. To have someone to share things with, whether it be simple meals, deep hurts or corny jokes you heard during the day. But my question is, if being in a relationship is so good, then why are there so many brokenhearted wives and fed up husbands? Why can’t we see our parents in love as much as they were before?

This post is an outlet of gratitude for the privilege of learning about what and how to make make marriages work as how God designed it. More of this in ‘Love and Respect’ by Emerson Eggerichs.

Men and women are very different beings. We don’t need Science to explain that. It’s obvious! Just look at the shoes they wear. But what’s not obvious is that men and women have VERY different needs.

Was this post helpful? Share it if you feel like others may find it useful too:

LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

Because of what we see in movies and hear in popular songs, love love love is what we need to make relationships work. Half true. Half false.

Let’s rewind. During courtship stage, when a man is pursuing a woman, he speaks her language of LOVE. He spends time with her, does things that please her, picks her up and brings her home during dates, sends her gifts and of course, tells her how he feels when she is with him. He wouldn’t miss the mark in making her feel loved because he is inspired and motivated to do so. Take note ladies, not just by his feelings (emotions) but more importantlyΒ  so, because of YOU. Let me explain.

When a woman is being courted by a man she likes, she shows him approval. She shows appreciation for the things that he did-the time spent together (even if it were just a drop-off), simple gifts, acts of service and the words that blow her away.Β  So what happened?

HE SEES BLUE, YOU SEE PINKblue and pink

As the author puts it, he wears blue eyeglasses and blue hearings aids while we wear pink eyeglasses and pink hearing aids. I love his example of this:

When a man says “I have nothing to wear”, he means he has nothing clean.

When a woman says, “I have nothing to wear”, she means she has nothing new.

Being a woman, I totally agree. And I asked Sean if it were true for a male, and he immediately responded with a resounding yes. This is just one of the basic things in life (clothing), what more about others.

So how can a man and a woman live happily ever after?

HIS AND HER DEEPEST NEED

Men spell love as R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Men have an honor code. Most of the time, men stonewall when in conflict with women. They go straight to the point in telling you what they want and how they want it (which may seem to be unloving for women). They wouldn’t want to say more because they wouldn’t want to blurt unnecessary things which may dishonor, disrespect others. This is their honor system.

Women on the other hand, are wired to take care and fix things. Women usually express more easily what they feel and want through words (which may seem controlling or nagging for men). When a woman draws closer to a man, especially during conflicts, she wants her partner to be open to her. She wants to understand him. This is how she shows LOVE.

Marriage is tough. According to what I hear and witness with my parents, we will only be able to see completely who our partner is when we are under the same roof. Conflict is inevitable. Turns out, he does a handful of things you wouldn’t even imagine he does. And she could talk venomously non-stop.

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UNCONDITIONAL RESPECT

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.-1 Peter 3:1.

Contrary to what the world dictates, respect is not earned. It should be given. Most husbands have been discouraged by their wives unintentionally because of disappointments and unforgiven hurts. What many women are not aware of is that, they have much power to motivate their men to love them more than they could have ever imagined by giving them unconditional respect.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.-1 Peter 3:7.

Due to the pink and blue hearing and visual aids, you have mistaken each other’s comments and actions to be against one other. Instead of stonewalling your woman, men, we highly encourage you to take on the action and take that bold step to unconditionally love your wife. Surely, this will not turn sour especially because you are obedient to God’s Word.

In all, these are just some of the things I’m learning along the way to the narrower road of marriage. These things build a good foundation for me to keep strong and know my partner better.

I urge you to do the same.

Filed Under: Love and Relationships Tagged With: love, loving her, loving him, marriage, opposite sex, romance, secret to love

Comments

  1. buenavie says

    June 26, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    Awesome! Thanks Ms. Angelyn for publishing this post! This is something that I can keep in mind and heart when I step in a relationship up to getting married and also after that. πŸ™‚ Maybe I haven’t asked that question before about wives and husbands turning sour on their marriage but this is just straight to the point and very clear on the insight. πŸ™‚ God bless you and Sean more! πŸ˜€

    Reply
    • Angelyn says

      June 28, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      Thank you so much for the encouragement Buenavie πŸ™‚ Praise God that you were blessed by the post. May more men and women understand each other through Biblically applying love and respect in their relationships. πŸ™‚ God bless!

      Reply
  2. tine says

    June 27, 2013 at 6:05 pm

    im not a christian yet when i got married so married life for me is so difficult.. but when i became a christian my marriage for me is great when you know that God called me to be His servant.. my favorite verse actually is Ephesians 5:22 submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord..:)) it really works for me..:)

    Reply
    • Angelyn says

      June 28, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Amen to that Tine. Applying God’s Word in our lives is really for our benefit.

      Reply
  3. Ma Lorenzo says

    June 29, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Through your words I can so feel the deep love between the two of you, as well as the love of God for both of you. πŸ™‚ May the Lord nurture your love, and keep standing firm on His love. Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚ Blessings! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    • Angelyn says

      July 2, 2013 at 10:40 am

      Thank you for your encouragement and blessings, Ma Lorenzo. Indeed, our God knows what’s best for us. May we continue to treasure His gifts and bless others with it.

      Reply
  4. Joumari Ranada says

    June 4, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    Wow! Ms. A. This is great!

    Reply
    • Angelyn says

      June 10, 2014 at 4:00 pm

      Thanks Joumari πŸ™‚ Hope you were blessed.

      Reply
  5. Jam says

    August 28, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    I am greatly blessed. Im still not married nor in a relationship but this one explains well the differences and meeting halfway. Thanks for this πŸ™‚

    Reply

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