I never dreaded it this much.
Never hoped that it would come someday else as much. Perhaps some day after this month. I hope that it would be delayed.
Instead I need to suffer my birthday with a heavy heart.
My jacket seems heavier.
My heart is not with my work.
I am at a loss.
Last night was one of the most heart-wrenching nights I’ve had in my life. I rarely do something so beautiful for anyone. And yet the only time I did so, it had to be taken down. Stripped bare. Trampled and spat on.
And I couldn’t do anything about it.
Because I gave it away.
There are lots of things I regret since last night. Things that I thought I will never regret. Things that I loved and cherished and remembered. Now they’re all pieces of faded, burnt-edge photographs in my life’s grand gallery.
What a shame.
So long happy birthday.