Someone once told me, ‘do not hold on to a blessing too tightly that you aren’t willing to let go anymore’. I think there is wisdom with what she said. And don’t we all struggle with that? Especially when we’re blessed with a relationship?
Letting go is never easy
This entry has been inspired by my relationship with a good friend of mine who ignited this wisdom and experience in me. To you, I give my thanks.
I’ve been blessed with so many friends. And we as human beings experience relationships here and there. It is part of us. We need relationships – it is our design to desire such. And for some part of my life, I’ve been blessed with a special relationship that I was holding on so tightly to.
When a blessing makes you bleed
This relationship was a big blessing in my life. And in fact, it still is. But during the time, I was so stubborn and held on to my relationship with this person too tightly, I didn’t feel my hand was already bleeding and I was suffocating the blessing.
Holding on to a blessing too tightly will dethrone God in your life. Especially if that blessing is a relationship. The one thing that will ever play tug-o-war with God for the throne in your heart is a relationship – whether it be a relationship with a person (which is a two-way relationship), with your tv, computer, books, etc… (the latter ones are one-way relationships) Because what you have with God is a relationship too.
Feeling the loss
And so at some point in time when God sees that you cannot handle the blessing He has given you, He has to take it away. And yes you will excruciatingly feel the pain as God pries your fingers open. You will feel the cuts in your hand begin to bleed. And you will feel the loss – a void in your palm and a void in your heart for you have placed that blessing in the throne of God, committing idolatry.
It is such an irony that when you are willing to let go, God will let the blessing stay for He knows that He still holds Lordship over your life. But when the time comes that you’re holding on a wee bit tighter to that blessing, He’s gonna start telling you “Hey buddy, you better lossen up that grip.”
When the time comes that God needs to pry the blessing away from you, then you know that you have made yourself a captive of that blessing. And instead of a blessing it has become an idol for you. All the idols we make in our lives come from blessings – blessings that has taken the place of God in our hearts. So how do we avoid this? How can we let go?
Set your eyes on the Giver
Loosen your grip
How do we avoid idolatry? Check your heart. Is God still the only thing you cannot let go of? Are all other things worthless in light of Him? Is He still your focus? When the answer is no then that’s the time when you have to question the things in which you are fearful to let go of – because it has already taken root in the throne room of God in your life.
How can we let go of a relationship that we have been blessed with? Renew your mind. Always remember that God gives us blessings for a purpose – to bless others with it. If the relationship is not pleasing to God anymore, and if you yourself is not blessed with what is happening, then it’s time to search your heart with where you stand in the relationship. Check your grip. Are you holding on too tightly?
It is not easy to know these things. You need the discernment and wisdom of God. You need to give Him time to tell you this. Often, we are blinded with emotions in this aspect and we need the help of other people whom we can trust and to who we can be accountable with. Ask them for advice. Humble yourself and know that you need it.
And when you know and realize that you are holding on too tight, then you know that you have to let go. Loosen your grip by loosening the relationship with that person in your heart. Meaning, slow down or cut short the communication between the both of you. Relationships grow through communication, so in order to loosen it up, loosen up the communication.
Back off and try to see the relationship in a bigger light. Is it still pleasing to God? Are other people going to be blessed with your relationship with that other person? Maybe it’s time to give the blessing back to God and develop yourself more in order for you to handle it better the next time around.
Check your grip.
Let go. Develop yourself. Wait on God.
another super blog from the super blogger!
nice one sean!
Thanks ahia Mel! 🙂
Pahiram ng books ni Seth Godin!
I can lend you the Linchpin! I finished it already. I also have it as an ebook in my ipad if i wanna review it 🙂 sige meet tayo for me to lend it to you!
Nice one, Sean! 🙂 God bless you!
Hey Nicole! Glad to know you’ve dropped by 🙂 Help me share this with your friends ha 🙂 Thanks! God bless you too!
Nice! 🙂 ang galing!
This is a beautiful post. Sadly, nobody understands what it means to let go.
Hey Bingkee!
Thanks 🙂 It speaks to a lot of people. And yeah that’s because it’s so darn hard to let go…
bro, this really is inspiring.. have to share this to friends.. ^^, more blessings for you.. my prayers are with you that GOD may sustain you with knowledge, wisdom and strength in writing blogs for HIS glory..
Hey bro,
Praise God 🙂 Glad you like it. Yes please do share it with your friends. Thank you so much for your prayers. I pray may you apply what you’ve learned in your life!
Bro, thank God for your posts and Dennis’ (Sy) as well. I feel connected and consider you guys as my “on-line” mentors / Kuyas… even though I haven’t met you or know you guys personally plus I may be older than you LOL .
The world needs more men like you. Godly men who’s not ashamed to stand, speak and blog for Jesus. Blessings to you. Keep blogging and rocking! You are an inspiration \m/
Hi Lon,
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement bro 🙂 Really appreciate it. Praise God for His works on my life and for His works in ahia Dennis’ life. Keep walking with God.
HI Sean! This is managed by you pala… hehe.. Thanks for the insights! Love your site 🙂 God bless…
Hi miss Nail,
Thanks fr dropping by! Yep this is my very first blog and I love it – writing for God 🙂 God bless you too! See you soon! I’ll be back there this April!
Thanks for these very nice and helpful advice. God bless you more Sean.
Thanks Ging!
Hope it helps. God bless you!
Thanks Sean, I can really see myself on to it, and its bleeds me.How amazing God is.
Hey Sally,
God indeed is amazing. Glad that my story inspired you somewhat. Hope to hear more from you!
Nice article. Make sense to me. I have really been looking for a reason to let go. Thank you. It helped.
So glad it did Clover 🙂 God bless you.
This one is very true Sean. I also experienced holding on too tightly on God’s blessing. It has been a struggle and painful experience for me to let go of that very special someone. I am a work in progress now and it is very enlightening to have read your article. Keep it up!
Thanks Ritz,
All glory to God 🙂 I’m glad this article has helped shed some light for you.
would god bless us back that relationship we once held onto tightly. Say we let go of that relationship and put god first would he ever bless it back??
Jason,
I don’t know – and I don’t really know. Definitely the possibilities cannot be measured nor envisioned by us. It can happen and it cannot. What we do know is that God wants what’s best for us. If you were eating your dinner and your fried chicken plopped down the floor because it slipped – would you thank God that He protected you from what could’ve been a stomach-ache? You wouldn’t know if the fried chicken had a virus – but even that small thing might’ve been God saving you from food poisoning. Or you could blame God that he made your chicken slip. What’s more important is our heart and reaction to God’s sovereignty in our lives.
Hi Sean,
Great post. I recently had to end a relationship (or pseudo-relationship since we never really got to define it early on) and it was really hard because it also cost us our really good and unique friendship. I am praying every day to be able to let go and just let God. But I pray also that in my cloud of hurt and disillusionment I don’t forget how he was also a blessing in the first place. I was humbled and blessed by this post and actually, a lot of your posts. Just started reading today, so keep it up and thank you! 😀 I am reminded of Job 1:20-12: “The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Hey Jill,
I’m glad that you have that attitude of trusting God. Job had it too. “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.” – Job 2:10
There are times in our lives when God will test us. It can be emotionally heart-wrenching but it is meant to make us better. God means good for us. I hope and pray that your friendship would be restored and you will have a God-glorifying story to tell from your experience. Much like what I went through to be able to write this entry.
God bless you Jill
Wow! This is nice. May the Lord continue to bless you with wonderful insights, bro.
When we pray to let this ‘blessing’ go and when it happens, why do we get hurt?
I let him go. Actually, he broke up with me and without any question, I let him walked away. I know God wanted that relationship to end.and I don’t know why it’s just so hard to deal with this adversity. Thank you for this.. the pain has somehow lessen.
That was very brave, Keith. Sometimes, we really don’t understand why bad things happen to good people. But having faith and believing in the goodness of Jesus will help you through the storm. May you continue to walk with the Lord, Keith as He shows you how beautiful He has planned out your life to be!
A very astute observation you make in this post Sean. I am personally going through a period of having to let go of a very dear relationship and it is hell but it is one of those things that you must be able to let go for your greater good. I don’t know if I will ever be happy about that fact, but I have come to accept it somewhat. -Sidebar- On Google + You said to introduce ourselves on a comment on one of your blogs. I operate a personal development | internet marketing blog, and am trying to become a student of good SEO practices. It is my hope to someday soon offer some SEO consultation services as well. I have recently purchased the product SEO Zen which creates silo-sites very quickly and they are supposed to be optimized extremely well for instant high rankings. Have you heard of this product and if so what do you think about it?
Thank you for this post. 🙂
it is really the best article i have ever read in my life thank you so much . it is the first time i come across a person who loves God in this way.
I’m having a really hard time letting go. I don’t understand the why in it all. I’m so tired of dealing with pain in my life. Why can’t I just be happy. All I ever wanted was a family.
its hard to let go , but I know one day we will know why does god let it happen.
i wish you were my dad.!!!”
Haha no… You probably wouldn’t. No one’s perfect and I got my own stuff to deal with 🙂
Thank you this was so well written and comprehensive. It definitely ministered to my soul.
Thank you for posting this and your other posts. It’s been an eye-opener. Bless you for posting about the nature of our father. Hopefully, in time things make more and more sense. Bless you, brother!
– Roshan
Thank you so much for posting this, I am going through some tuff times trying to let go of a relationship is no longer please to God and by reading your post I came to understand that I had given this person first place in my life and God cannot continue to bless this relationship and even though is so hard to let go I understand I have to do it in order to give God back the first place in my life. Thanks again for a wonderful post
Hi Sir 🙂 Thanks for this. I stumble upon your post because Im in a desperate situation right now. I have a boyfriend and he loves me so much. He is very responsible, sweet and down to earth. He goes to a different church but we are both serving God in our different churches. I am part of our Church’s children Ministry and Presiding team. I love serving the Lord. Then one day, I just heard God telling me to let go of my boyfriend. I really dont get it. I keep on asking God why why why but He just kept on telling me thru my devotion to just obey. I did obey. I broke up with my boyfriend two week ago. I just told him I dont love him anymore when in fact I love him so much but ofcourse I cant tell him it’s what God wants because he wont understand it. And right now, I am really in pain. I dont understand God’s plan for me. I did obey but there’s no peace in my heart. There are times I’d say to myself that it would be better for me to let go of God than my boyfriend because it hurts too much. I’ve broken my boyfriend’s heart and he dont deserve it. I really dont know what to do.
Hi Jeremiah,
Just keep holding on to the Lord. If He tells you to do something that you don’t understand, that’s obedience through faith. If He tells you something you do understand, that’s obedience through knowledge. If there’s anything we know from the Bible, it’s that Abraham obeyed God to go to a land he wasn’t even sure existed. And God rewarded Him greatly.
Thank you for this blog. It really helps me a lot since I’m struggling on this.
Thanks again and Godbless
Hermie,
You’re not alone in this. Know that Jesus loves you and He offers you eternal life. God bless you!
I have a friend. I consider her quite close but she has been giving me mixed signals..it really hurts me to see that at times she doesnt even care about me…i dobt understand that what I shall do to be happy..
Amanda,
Get close to Jesus. An imperfect person will always hurt us but a perfect God is someone who can fill our need for love and care. God bless you!
Thank you for this. You have no idea how much this perspective gave me understanding about something iv been struggling with. I indeed did idolize the person & my attention had partly shifted from God. Indeed – ” you shall have no other God but me”.
. Met this amazing guy who actually brought me closer to God. He has given himself to God completely but he is very selfish and only thinks about his career he wants to accomplish. This would mean that he would be in a different town than I am. I have prayed so many times for us to work and have not seen any results from God. If then indeed you will not know love untill you have not given yourself to God. I who have not given all my heart to God loves this guy more unconditionally than he who has given his heart to God. It is a hopeless case and letting go you will never know if ever you will get this guy back but because you love him so much you are willing to let him go even knowing fully that he might meet someone else. Yes we should trust in God and He should be our everything then I just wonder why in the first place He came into my life because sometimes the heart ache is so much that you feel yourself pulling away from God because you are hurting so much and you still dont know if you will get this person back so that you can be together.
Hello, Sean.
Thanks for this post. Really resonated. I would appreciate if you shed a light on my concern in relation to your post above.
I have a guy friend that I really love for some time and he went overseas to pursue his’ dreams. He doesn’t know I love him for many years now (in a romantic way); he only sees me as a friend. He used to be my co-worker but then he resigned, find a new job, and later went to another country to be with his family and pursue his scholarship. Before he left overseas, we use to communicate or catch up on things. He is truly a genuine person and great friend to be with. We share a lot of things in common and has helped me to grow closer with God.
When he told me that he will go overseas and will no longer go back in the Philippines, I got really devasted and stopped initiating conversations with him for several months. Then it came to a point that God told me to let go through a bible scripture in Matthew. After few months of no communication with him, I got a text message from him and told me he is leaving. Since I know he will be leaving for good, I did not reply at all. And just yesterday, he sent me an email and telling me how guilty he was for not telling me in person that he will be leaving for good. Got so stressed over weekends because I really don’t want to respond.
I know he is going to be sad of the fact that I will no longer communicate with him. It’s unfair because he did not do anything wrong–its me who have fallen in love with him and God is telling me to let go. He has no idea at all but I have to. Not because I’m angry for the way he said goodbye but really to save my heart from getting hurt and obey God.
God reminded me through James 1:23 and 2:23 when I went to church today. And came stumbling upon your post. So keep me from being tempted to reply, I have deleted his email, stepping out in faith, and let God take over of the situation. I do hope my friend will understand in God’s time. I really wanted to catch up but I do hope that I have heard God right and doing God a favor. Please shed a light and pray that I have made a right decision. Thanks in advance for listening.