There is a state in time when you are ‘in love’ and you set reason and logic to a secondary state. Your feelings and emotions get the upper hand. Suddenly a 1,200 peso bouquet of flowers seem so affordable in light of the girl you like. Suddenly the time you could have spent working on your thesis seem less important than spending time with that certain someone. Suddenly, everything else seems less of a priority compared to your relationship with that person.
Being ‘in love’ spells out an emotion that is so good – it keeps your emotional tank running in full. Unfortunately, this state of emotional being has a limited duration that, according to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, ‘The 5 Love Languages’, lasts for 2 years at most.Time is something to take into account when you’re in this state of emotion.
I’m not saying that being ‘in love’ is bad. No it’s not. In fact, I find it a good and enjoyable state of an individual’s emotion. Though I do tell people to double-check their decision making when they are in this state.
When it’s over…
Again, being ‘in love’ lasts only for a certain duration. After which, you’ll find yourself back t who you were before being ‘in love’. Your reasoning and logic takes a stronger hold on you once more. You suddenly become more efficient with your time, finances, etcetera. That’s because being ‘in love’ is almost always an unconscious trigger. You don’t need to condition your mind to be ‘in love’ for you to be in that state – it just ‘happens’.
So being ‘out of love’ is also an unconscious trigger. It just happens. That’s just the way it is. I’m sure you’ve had your shares of being in and out of love. But what I really want to talk about is the awareness of that emotional need.
A need to know
Unlike the ‘in love’ state, the emotional need is constant. It is always there – from the time you were born, to the time that you pass away. Whether you have a relationship with a certain special someone or not, you have an emotional need. Everyone does.
You have to know how to fill your emotional need. Know what makes you tick. When that need is not met, you are in a dangerous state because you’ll settle for a quick fix (as I’ve mentioned in a previous post). Knowing what meets your emotional need will also help your future spouse fill it up.
In a husband/wife relationship, being aware of that need is vital. To meet your spouse’s emotional need is to invest in your marriage. That need exists whether or not you’re in or out of the ‘in love’ state. And when you’re talking about marriage, you’re tied together for good.
Focus on how you can meet that constant emotional need without the ‘in love’ state – so that you are able to fill your emotions consciously by yourself without having the need to involve another physical person in your life.