I’m not a Super Christian, I’m not a holy person, I’m not a nice guy, I’m not – I’m just not. God created all men equal and to some extent, I’ve had my downs in life. I’ve been through what every man has been through growing up – struggling with lust, wrestling with pride, battling off greed, falling in pitfalls and stumbling in potholes of sin.
If you’ve been following my blog, I just want you to know that someday I will fail and I will disappoint you. From this point on, I don’t want you to look up to me, but to look up to God because He will never disappoint you. I’m just helping you out to look to Him more. Seek Him and you will find your life filled if you’ve already felt that God-shaped void in you.
How did I become who I am now? It’s all because of God. I grew up as a boy taught in church since I was young up until I grew in wisdom and stature. There were points in my life when I failed miserably – those were the times when I was held in bondage in computer games, when I was very undisciplined with my time, when I fell into sexual immorality and lust – addicted to the pleasures of the flesh, I was in every way living a very ungodly life as a Christian. What hypocrisy.
But God uses the pitfalls and potholes in your life for you to know how to avoid them and for you to know how to pull people trapped inside them. God slapped me in my life of sin and brought me back to Him. I repented, confessed, and lived a life consecrated to God. It didn’t happen overnight – even after all the mistakes and the confession and repentance, I was still struggling with a lot of things and only by the grace of God am I able to overcome them.
Slowly, I came to know God more. I was just faithful in the little things of reading His word one chapter a day everyday and praying to Him – just pouring it all out and talking with my God and remembering Christ. A lot of people helped me up – especially my parents but the decision had to be made by me. In the end, I had to choose.
I chose God.
I’m not a super Christian, I’m not a special, Holy guy. I’m just a man who made a decision – a decision to follow Christ and to remember what He did for me. A decision to make my life about His glory and not ‘what’s best for me’.
My blog might be hard and you might not like what I say because the world has trained you up to be of its own. But if I withheld these truths from you, I am accountable to God. So I will not. The truth will definitely hurt because it exposes the lies you’ve built around your heart. The time that you’re exposed to the truth then you will start to feel and know the lies and it will hurt. As the poet Emily Bronte writes:
“Oh, dreadful is the check-intense the agony
When the ear begins to hear and the eye begins to see;
When the pulse begins to throb, the brain to think again,
The soul to feel the flesh and the flesh to feel the chain”
Keep on reading so you’ll know the truth. I pray may you look on to God and not to me – for I know someday I will disappoint you. But by the grace of God, I will try my best to lead you to Him.