Would you agree with me if I say that some Christians miss God’s best because they have been in search for God’s will? How the statement is ironically paradoxical. While seeking God’s will is right and a wise thing to do, I hope we do our seeking the right way. Most of the time in our desperate search for His will, we forget what our faith is all about – moving forward with confidence that God is in control.
Webmaster’s Note: This is an entry from Norton Cheng – a good friend of mine whose thoughts reflect the current condition of safe dating while tiptoeing about who your other half would be in accordance to God’s will.
Perhaps the idea of God’s will is always a magical thing. When I am to think about what God’s will is in the Bible, Psalms 23 enters my mind. “The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not be in want. He leads me in green pastures and still waters. He restores my soul.” This is what I thought how it is in God’s will, a scene of perfection. God’s Best for a Christian woman is the most compatible guy for her – like a spark at the right moment. While some are so miraculously ordained to each other, most of my girl friends (take note two words) share to me that they only saw the best in that person after they see the relationship out.
On the other hand, Men are blessed with the right to preference, but honestly Christian men are more afraid than little boys because they fear on not dating God’s Best, or admittedly getting rejected. That’s why we always say P.U.S.H. Pray until something happens. Most of the time nothing happens and the opportunity pass us by. This is the problem when Christian men and women pray too much without action, they become a bit too idealistic about the unlikely falling of everything into the right place at the right time.
This curiously got me back to Psalm 23. I realize that I miss a lot of other verses in the chapter, at the same time not fully understanding my favorite parts (above). “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and staff comfort me. You prepare a table for me in the midst of my enemies, my cup overflows” David is supposed to be in God’s will, yet he is in a very uncertain time. I got confused. God’s will after all is a status of our relationship with Him rather than an eventful part of our life.
This just hit me that I have not been moving forward all along because of the lack of clarity to what God’s will is. I did not grasp the idea of God’s promise after all. God never promised “You will be” but rather He promised, “I will be with you”. God did not say to Abraham “You will be a great Nation” He said, “I will make you a great nation (so go and do your part)”. Where has the focus of my Christianity been for the longest time? Having understood what God’s will is, I can now assure that goodness and mercy follow me. There is nothing to be afraid of. I can do all things.
My observation is that Christian girls in the dating stage tend to commit the Pharisee mistake. Pharisees are faith paranoids, very familiar with the word, do meditations, and live a blameless life. But how come Jesus always reminds them on how they missed the whole picture? It is because they won’t let go of their idea on who is the King of the Jews. They put the possibilities of faith in a box. A Godly woman might go to God praying with a picture and a résumé’ and say “Lord show me Your Best”. Was God really allowed to work? Then they go around and think that they are not ready.
Rules follow after, if I am more mature, if I have this level of faith, if I am more ready, if I am more stable… how can a finite man compete with an infinite requirement about a girl? How do you measure those things? We are closer to God’s will in our personal relationships when it starts to be less about us and more about God’s character and provision. It is not about how many times we pray in search for His will, but how our hearts are change in focus as we pray and act in faith. No guy will be the person you are looking for no matter how good he is. Know that it is God that completes you and that He is what you are looking for, and God’s Best for you is His provision according to His promise that He will be with you.
The Godly man prays for the right opportunity to come and it seems that it never will. I can relate to this, if she responded, then it is “God’s Best”, if not then “I am not ready for relationships”, “God says wait”, “God says No”, “God says Pray”, “God says there’s someone else”. It is funny because it is obvious that there’s something wrong here but we cannot point where it is exactly. We are easily discouraged because we are afraid to be rejected. How can we reach God’s promised land if we are easily swayed? Just like David, we have to face uncertainty while trusting that God will be with us.
As we take action, we will know clearly what God wants us to obey. If you have been praying for a sign or the perfect opportunity, it is about time to do something about it. God wants us to go so He can reveal His greatness. Like women, we will never be prepared for relationships unless we start doing something about it. Moses led the Israelites not knowing that the Red Sea will part. The secret is praying for daily obedience rather than revealing God’s plan. Maybe God’s plans are for His-eyes-only so faith is practiced. If we are to know everything, we will feel entitled and get it all wrong. God will reveal according to His perfect timing.
“ And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs.” – Mark 16:20
Faithful actions come first then signs follow.
Now that we have reached this part, girls are more open and men are encouraged. Haha! I don’t want to be held responsible if all Christian singles marry tomorrow and end up in messy relationships because Christian relationships can be messy too. It also does not mean that if he/she’s Christian, then it is God’s Best. While technically there’s no specific time to be engaged into relationships, the primary concern goes back to priorities. I like to use Pastor Peter Tan Chi’s Master Mission Mate theory. God is a jealous God and He will not allow anything to hinder you from having a relationship with Him. If you are a single Christian and you are thinking when is the right time for relationships, consider your relationship with the Lord first.
If you are praying for someone without fully understanding your Master and your Mission, I can almost guarantee that God will say “no” or “wait” because there is a relationship of primary concern to be dealt with. If a current relationship you have been praying for is contradicting with your heart for the Lord, then you know the answer. God will give you the desires of your heart if you are living according to His will (John 15:7). And He delights in blessing His children. This is His promise. So if you are asking me how to know if he or she is God’s Best? I will inquire about your relationship with the Lord. If you can confidently say that you are in accordance with God’s will and your heart is right with Him and His desires, then look no further because God’s Best will most likely be your choice.