I’ve always thought about what would happen if I died. Sure, the world ends for me and I’d go to a better place. My finite time would stop and eternity would start from that point on.
But what would happen to the loved ones I’d leave behind? We all make plans. That’s our nature. We all hope that by the time we leave, our children would have their own family. That we would die with our spouse.
I’m at the verge of getting married. It’s just 4 short months til then.
I’ve always wanted to get married. Always wanted to have a wife – and kids. Someday.
Someday has come.
And you know what? Thoughts drop by every now and then. And I think to myself: What if the Lord takes me a few years too early? Something unplanned happens?
Oblivion is a movie that reminded me of that. It’s something that I dread.
I want to leave together with my spouse. I love her very, very much. I cannot bear the thought of leaving her behind or of her leaving me. It’s an overwhelming thought.
Really at this point, all we can do is hope.
And what use is hope if it is not anchored in an omnipotent being?
So I put my hope in the Lord. He gives and takes away. This is a reminder for me that whatever happens, He will take care of us. And we’ll get to meet soon if ever we do not leave our finitude together.
Sometimes life brings us to a point where we reminisce and thought about what we could have done differently. I know I have.
And you know what? As far as I’ve gone in my life, there are bad things that I would’ve changed to become good. There are some things that I do regret.
Looking back, I now understand sin better. And I now understand the Lord’s laws better – that it is for my own good.
I don’t want my children and my friends to go through the same path. I want them to be better. So we’ll give our advise and our testimonies in hopes of them listening.
But you know what? I think that there’s more than that. We have a certain curse of curiosity. Something that we just can’t get off our backs.
I know it has haunted me – and it will still do. For good or for bad.
2 strange things: Curiosity and Fear. Sometimes ‘good’ is in the boundary of one of each.
In any case, I would love to the best of me. I’d love Apple the best way and cherish her and take care of her until that day when the Lord tells us that it’s time to come home. I do not want to regret a day when I did not love her.
I want to look back and know that we are both excited to go to the Lord’s kingdom.