Yesterday I went out of my bed feeling down and out. Packed myself with quick fixes to keep me going. It was a horrible day. One that drained me – in all aspects. I’ve spent myself and I know that there will be consequences.

I’m sorry for what I did of course.

Doesn’t change the fact that it did happen.

It was all because of the night before. Something that opened my eyes to the reality of it all.

After my quick fix shots, the day died. In a blink of an eye.

I suddenly realized it was 10pm. Nothing was done. No work was done.

I wasted my day. Yes it was selfish. Yes I needed that downer to keep me rushing right now.

Adrenaline.

Sometimes I need it.

Now I’m rushing 2 articles – 1 for SEO Hacker and 1 for God and You. I’m not worthy to write the latter.

Not at all.

So here I am writing another confession.

This relationship thing really sucks. Whenever something’s really wrong, it affects the whole day.

I wonder if I’m made for this. Sometimes I see myself as the real life Tony Stark. Someone who’s brilliant and can change the whole world.

Someone who’s out for gain, success and what he thinks is best.

Someone who’s great with people and can encourage and is a brilliant thinker.

Someone who’s a billionaire but has deep problems. Alcoholism is one. Sleeping around is the other.

I have my own. And sometimes it’s really good to have ‘em. But afterwards, I dread it.

It’s all temporary.

I’d love to don an iron man suit now.

I’m not an iron man. I hurt. That’s the way life goes.

You wake up and realize that the hate is all there. Still there. It won’t go away.

Sometimes I wish that things would get fixed. Like magic.

It doesn’t happen that way.

Life.

Do I still have my quick fixes with me? Hell yeah.

Is it worth it? For the moment. But not for long.

So I gotta do things for the long run now.

Sometimes I wish things would just work without me.

But I would need to make it work for it to work.

Can’t be invisible.

This is my monologue. I guess I’m typing this to make me feel better. Again, a quick fix.

The truth is, I’m just as broken and fragile as everyone else. I have my own problems.

Even iron man does.

Hope this day gets better soon.